A psychologist and a veterinarian walk into a bar. A coffee bar. The psychologist orders a grande decaf nonfat latte. The veterinarian calls for a tall, half-caf nonfat mocha, no whip, with foam. Ahh. How I wish it were true.
I confess: I'm the psychologist. And the veterinarian is my best friend, Kirstin. We've been separated from each other (and from our coffee-centric playdates) for several months now. Our husbands' work moved our families across the country this summer, but not to the same place. Alas, I miss my friend.
Fortunately, the world is shrinking. Those ubiquitous electronic leashes (cell phones) we all resent make a Starbuck's double shot playdate possible even across the miles. And this mom thinks that's fantastic.
I called Kirstin yesterday to hear her sunny voice and get some critical mission support. She asked about the ongoing struggle to get my son comfortable with the kid's club at the gym. I know she understands the magnitude of this struggle -- she went through it with her daugher only last month. I explained I've been trying to reinforce the idea that "the kid's club is a great place to go" by rewarding my son with a smoothie or some outdoor playtime together after we leave the gym. Kirstin the veterinarian's response: "If he was a dog I would say you should make as little fuss about the reunion as you can. You don't want him to see a sharp contrast between the time when he is with you and the time when you're away."
Hmm. Good point.
Of course, my son is not a dog. But Kirstin the veterinarian's advice was spot on. By rewarding my son with a post-kid's club smoothie, I was reinforcing the idea "time with Mommy is way more fun than time away from Mommy." How could I not see this? Perhaps the post-workout reward also made me feel better about leaving my son in tears while I had some "mommy" time. If I gave him something extra I could ease a little bit of the guilt. Maybe motherhood requires some delusion.
As a psychologist, it's a bit embarassing to admit you get your best parenting advice from your veterinarian. Even if she is your best friend and even if she offers the advice over a half-caf nonfat mocha with no whip, just foam.
