If you think my experiences with Nissan changed forever the fabric of my impatient personality, you’ve got another thing coming. Patience doesn’t develop over night. But the “opportunities to excel” (read time-wasting, soul-stealing customer service fiascos) just keep coming.
One of the joys of moving every 2 years or less is I get to establish new service with one or more telecommunications companies. These companies have a deservedly bad reputation for customer service. Here’s my most recent example. (WARNING: This is a LONG story. Pour a cup of coffee before you read on.)
When we moved to Virginia, I decided to hook up to cable internet rather than DSL. Since I was opening an account with the cable company, I decided to purchase phone service via internet as well. I called Comcast and ordered the service I wanted. Two weeks later, their rep came to install.
He worked feverishly for five hours installing one modem for the internet-based telephone service, and an additional wireless router for our home computer network. Five hours. He hadn’t installed this particular equipment before, so ours represents the steepest part of his learning curve (at least I hope so). He apologized for the long service call but finished the job that day. Our phone and internet service worked flawlessly.
Fast forward three months. Leading Mama has been busy. I’ll admit while I pay all our bills on time, I don’t always read them. The first bill from Comcast seemed high, but I chalked it up to new service charges and installation fees and dashed off a check.
This month I opened the bill ($121.48 for internet and home telephone) and again muttered under my breath “Why is this bill so damn high?” And then I turned it over. On the back of the bill under Comcast Bundled Services, it says “Preferred Bundle includes Digital Pref with On Demand, Performance High-Spd Internet, Digital Voice Unlimited, Triple Play dscnt included.”
Hmmm. Triple play – cable television, Internet, and phone. Only I don’t have cable TV, I have satellite. And I’ve always had satellite.
I quickly called Comcast and explained the situation. The sympathetic representative explained she did not have the ability to turn off my cable TV service (which I do not have), and issued a customer care request. She told me I’d receive a call within 24 hours.
When 48 hours elapsed, I called again and asked to speak with Customer Care. Again, a representative said my account showed a cable box at my address. Only I’ve never had a cable box. I explained the original work order, and subsequent installation fiasco while digging through my haphazardly organized files of important papers. At last, I laid hands on a single sheet of blue paper, folded in quarters. On the back side, our installer had noted my email account name and password. On front was our work order and his hand-written comment: Installed 1) Digital Voice Modem and 2) Wireless Router.
Aha! This crumpled blue paper proved the nonexistent cable box was, well, nonexistent. The customer service representative said I’d have to take my blue paper to the local Comcast billing office to resolve the discrepancy on my account. Imagine my excitement – I get to take a busy, clingy toddler to the cable company’s billing office where I will prove that I don’t have cable and reclaim my long-lost moola. Whoopee!
On Monday I drove to the billing office, evidence in hand. A well-spoken and helpful service representative (again) noted my account shows a cable box at my address. I handed her the blue believe-me, I-really-don’t-have-a-cable-box slip of paper. She pecked at the keyboard, stared at the work order, pecked at the keyboard some more. Carson amused himself swinging like a monkey from the “lane ropes” on either side of the service window.
Thirty minutes later she’d worked it out. Comcast owes me $10.67. Two phone calls and one trip across town, and all is right with the world. Leading Mama emerges victorious.
Or so I thought.
After his gymnastics workout in the Comcast lobby, Carson went down for a nap. And I sat down at the computer to work.
But it didn’t. And I didn’t.
There on the screen where the internet should have been was a box that said “Welcome to Comcast. Click here to Install.” So I clicked. Nothing. The internet was no where to be found.
Again, I called Comcast. I explained what was on my screen and informed the representative of the morning’s billing debacle resolution. Her response? “Oh, you always lose internet service when there’s been a change of service on the account.” Are you kidding me? I “changed my service” by removing cable TV (which never existed) and now I have no internet service. Yes, that’s how it works.
To make a very long story a little less long, this rep worked for 90 minutes and couldn’t reset the modem/router. She said she’s call back when she finished. Four hours later, she hadn’t called. So I called Comcast again. Another representative worked for over an hour to reset the modem and finally admitted defeat. The system would reset my modem within 72 hours, but there was no fix she could do at the moment. She said to keep checking, it might be reset sooner, but call back if I didn’t have internet service by Thursday.
On Tuesday morning, I hopefully clicked on Internet Explorer. Leading Mama is not patient, but she is optimistic. Wonder of wonders, the internet appeared. The system reset my modem in the night and I could get back to living my life. But I’ll never reclaim the time I spent canceling cable television I never ordered and never received. Apparently, that’s just the cost of modern living.
