I just came home from a trip to California to visit my extended family. My son got to spend time with his grandma, playing with toys, reading books, picking flowers in the yard, and riding the Sugar Pine railroad Jenny car through the forest. He pulled down Halloween decorations, spilled juice on her floor, whined and cried for no apparent reason, and threw food off his highchair – all the things he does at home (same kid, different location).
And grandma never lost her cool. She patiently coos “What’s the matter? Are things not going your way today?” She busies him with nature walks, distracts him with books. She never reaches the level of exasperation that I, his mother, reach when he makes yet another mess for me to clean up.
We visited my grandparents on this trip as well. My grandpa is 95 years old and sharp as ever. Earlier this month he took the driver’s test (written and behind-the-wheel) to prove he’s still got what it takes to drive from the house to the ranch and back. He passed with flying colors. My grandma is almost 91, and currently painting more than 20 pieces of china for the California state china painter’s convention. Her dishes are simply beautiful.
As I look back at my childhood, I have fond memories of time with my grandparents. I recall dinners at their house when my cousins and I played croquet in the yard, and sleepovers when we’d listen to Bozo the Clown records describing Bozo’s trip to Borneo and other exotic destinations.
Each year, the grandkids would get to count the change in grandpa’s change drawer and roll all the coins before splitting the booty six ways. We made some serious money and learned a lot of math, too. When we went home, grandma would make up a “care package” of snacks for the ride. She’d often include a golden delicious apple.
None of these activities has the pure kiddo appeal of a trip to Disneyland or a Wii system. But time with his grandparents is far more precious than any gift I could give my son. Why? Because
- Grandparents have time. And they haven’t read your story book 423 times this week, so they still delight in reading it again and again.
- Grandparents are patient. They don’t expect kids to hurry and wash their hands, hurry and get in the car, or hurry and brush their teeth. Grandparents go with the flow of kid time.
- Grandparents take the long view. They don’t get caught up in the minute-to-minute trials and tribulations of parenthood. They’re eager to see kids grow and change, but they don’t pressure kids to achieve milestone or ace tests at school. Grandparents love who we are right now, not who they think we might become someday.
Next time my son eats blue crayon or makes me drag his limp body across a busy parking lot, I’ll stop and ask myself “What would grandma do?” After all, toddlerhood doesn’t last forever. And someday I’ll miss reading books with my son. Even if it is the same story over and over.
