While I was pedaling the recumbent bike at the health club this morning, (yet another) political ad caught my attention. I can’t recall the name of the candidate, as his selling proposition wasn’t particularly unique. Behind his headshot, in large letters, were the words “Independent-Minded.”
I guess all candidates want us to believe that they’re independent minded, insofar as none of them boast they’re “in-tight-with-the-Washington-fatcats-who-created-the-mess-we’re-in” or “swayed-by-Wall-Street-bankers-lawyers-and-lobbyists.” Never mind that my slogans won’t fit the TV screen, even in wide screen mode. You get my point.
I’ve been thinking of the dependence—independence continuum this week as I’m writing a piece on teenagers, whose headstrong independence in our big, scary world frightens many Moms and Dads. Parents of teenagers emphasize taking care of and thinking for oneself – we don’t want them to be swayed by the half-baked arguments of some other newly independent teenager we hardly know. “If Johnny jumped off a cliff, would you follow him?”
Independent-mindedness is prized in our culture – we measure skill and success largely by individual achievements (test scores, promotions, contests won, opponents defeated). But independent-mindedness isn’t enough – and it can be arrogant or dangerous.
I truly don’t believe independent-mindedness is possible – 60 years of psychological research shows our judgments and behavior are influenced by social and environmental cues far outside our awareness. But even if it were possible, I’m not sure it’s desirable.
Leadership matters precisely because we’re all connected to each other and to our environment in ways we can scarcely fathom. It requires interdependent-mindedness.
As a parent, I want my son to be both capable and caring. I want him to see how his actions can build up or tear down, and how his words can hurt or inspire. I want him to appreciate the interdependent nature of people, plants, and animals and act accordingly. If his actions do damage, I want him to make amends – and to do better next time. Now that’s leadership for an interdependent world.
