I was driving home from the commissary yesterday when a radio commercial sponsored by the American Automobile Association came on. In the ad, a spokesperson for AAA informed listeners that the use of hands-free cell phone devices while driving is no safer than using hand-held cell phones. The reason, he said, is people are likely to get so deeply engaged in their phone conversation that they literally do not see what it right in front of their eyes. Perception researchers call this “seeing without seeing” inattention blindness.
I got to thinking that inattention blindness doesn’t just happen behind the wheel, and it doesn’t just happen when we’re gabbing on our cell phones. Much of the imbalance in modern living is the result of inattention blindness on a much bigger scale.
Each of us performs a number of roles on a daily basis. I, for example, am a wife, a mother, a pet owner and caretaker, a freelance writer, a business owner, a friend and confidant, a mom’s club member and book group coordinator, an athlete, a thinker, a housekeeper, a sister, a daughter, a military spouse, a chef, a chauffeur, a hostess, Santa’s helper…I’m sure there are more, but you get the idea. Some of our roles are defined by our personal interests, some by our relationships with others, some by our professional work or the tasks we do.
Inattention blindness and a sense of unhealthy imbalance happen because some roles are more absorbing than others. When a cranky toddler with a stinky diaper and a runny nose holds my attention, I miss the gotta-go-outside signals and end up with dog pee on the floor. When a looming deadline or muddled story idea absorbs my energies, I forget to ask my husband about his day and don’t notice or acknowledge the kind things he does to support me. He feels neglected and underappreciated even if he doesn’t pee on the floor to get my attention. (Thank goodness!)
If you’re feeling out of control and off balance, stop and look for the blind spots in your life. Your intense focus on the most pressing issues has likely blinded you to other important joys and concerns. Take it all in. You may be surprised when you see what you’re missing. I was.
