This week, I'm up on my soapbox to say I hate the term #momfail. Here's why.
If you Google #momfail, you find interesting -- and frankly, disgusting -- images.
Like a mother giving a blow job to a penis-shaped cake appendage while her five-year-old daughter watches -- eyes wide -- simply stunned.
And several other mothers taking sexy photos of themselves in their bathroom mirrors with camera phones while their children play or observe from the background.
And this one from FailBlog that speaks for itself.
These are #momfails? They are also *huge* lapses in judgment. I say 1. Get a babysitter, 2. Lock the door, and 3. Unfriend her, son.
But Googling #momfail will also lead you to some other, less titillating examples. (Yes, I said titillating. It's my blog and I'll say titillating if I want. Apparently, I don't use this word often enough. I had to Google how to spell it.)
When you Google #momfail, you find kind, thoughtful, caring mothers bashing themselves for minor mistakes and calling them momfails.
Mistakes like forgetting to put the Tooth Fairy money under the pillow and telling a lie to cover it up.
Like giving the baby a binky after you instituted a "no binky" at naptime rule.
Like allowing your child to drink caffeine before bedtime, or skipping his bath four days in a row.
Like wrapping the "Santa" presents with the not-from-Santa paper. (gasp!)
Like sending your child to school on St. Patrick's Day wearing a green Heineken t-shirt because it was the only one you could find. Or sending him to school without any green at all.
Like forgetting to have your child bring a his favorite toy for show-and-share at preschool.
Like losing the gift list from your child's birthday party (or not having a gift list because your little cretin ripped open all his gifts when you weren't watching). Is it a #momfail not to send thank you notes? Or to send vague thank you notes?
I spend a fair bit of time reading ScaryMommy confessions. I've even posted a few myself. (And no, I am not going to tell you which ones!)
I understand the need to reveal personal mistakes. Sometimes we want other mothers to tell us "It's okay. I did that, too." We want to be vindicated. We want others to help us forgive ourselves.
Sometimes we want other mothers to pummel us. "I'm a bad mom. Right? I'm going to mom hell. You all agree, don't you? My child will be in therapy forever. I should be shot." We want them to heap judgment upon us. We want them to reinforce our own self-loathing.
Mostly, I dislike the term #momfail because it inflates our errors. It suggests that every tiny little thing we do as moms is significant. Influential. Crucial. It means we're taking ourselves way too seriously. We've lost perspective. We aren't cutting ourselves the same slack we'd afford any complete stranger we meet at the mall.
And let's be honest, we'd forgive her even the most egregious of #momfails. Well, except for the penis cake blow job. That, my friends, is beyond #momfail.
What's got you up on the soapbox this week? Post an opinionated piece on your own blog and link up here. Links are live all week. As always, comment love begets comment love.
Disclaimer: I have not been compensated by Google or #hashtags for this post. If you know their execs, tell them to call me (wink, wink). If you're suprised to see a LeadingMama post containing the words penis, blow job, sexy, MILF, and binky, so am I. And on Sunday, too... I know it is too much to take in. Rest assured this is still a family show. I was just making a point.