Leading Mama

10 Unexpected Upsides of Hurricane Preparation

If you've been to my house, you know I care more about people, play and projects than I do about cleaning and organizing. And so, as I prepared for Hurricane Irene, I've experienced several unexpected benefits.

 

1. Learned about all the prepackaged convenience foods available in the grocery store. Now I know why experts recommend stocking 2-3 gallons of water per person per day in your emergency kit. The sodium content of prepackaged food is truly alarming. It will dehydrate us dramatically.

2. Found the AC/DC adapter for Little Man's portable DVD player. Not sure when I saw it last.

3. Cleaned the refrigerator, to make room for not-yet-spoiled food. I usually wait 'til we move to clean the whole thing top to bottom. (Yes, we move that often.)

4. Organized materials for ongoing writing projects and put them in bins so I can work from my laundry room if I want to. If there's any port in a storm, for me it is work. I love what I do!

5. Moved the rug in the screened-in porch, which gave me the opportunity to *really* wash away the dust underneath.

6. Organized the storage area in the garage to make room for everything that normally "lives" outside. Six deck chairs, two ottomans, a patio table, a cocktail table, toy box, kiddie pool, hoses and sprinkler.

7. Made enough pumpkin muffins to keep two kids full and happy for weeks.What we don't use now will be perfect for back-to-school snacks. Little Man is excited to put them in his monogrammed lunch sack.

8. Finished all the laundry. Yes, all of it. If I am trapped in my house with two small children and two puppies for two weeks, I may go crazy. If we're all trapped together and naked, I *know* I will.

9. Reaquainted myself with indoor activities to keep the kids busy during the storm. They'll be fresh(er) in my mind for the season's first snow day. Bring on art time and dress up.

10. Remembered how little I care about most of our personal belongings. We could lose everything but each other and it would all be okay. I'd miss Little Man's artwork and family photos. The rest: eh, not so much.

Now, we'll sit back and wait for the wind and water. We're not on the coast, so I don't expect serious damage. If you're in Irene's way, stay safe. And remember: people matter more than possessions.

Image credit: Some rights reserved by DUCKofD3ATH  

 

I'm Jealous!

In honor of Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday, I'll share a dirty little (or not-so-little) secret. Lately, I've been seeing green. Not good-for-the-planet green, either.

For two weeks I've been reading pre-BlogHer bluster and post-BlogHer highlights. And I'm jealous that I missed it.

I wanted to go. I really, really, really wanted to go. (Picture me stomping one foot, hands on hips like a bratty four-year-old now.) I wanted to dress up and have drinks with women who love to write, and who can turn everyday doldrums and drama into A+ entertainment.

I don't so much care about swag bags, or meetings with company reps.

I don't so much care that I missed San Diego, which is a lovely place with stand-out Mexican food.

I don't worry I can't catch up with the latest blogging gadgets and gizmos. My friends online will keep me up-to-date on all that. (Thanks to Nicole at Moments that Define Life; Liz and Kristen at Eli Rose Social Media Marketing;  Jessica at My Time As Mom; Christina Katz, the Writer's Workout Coach, and Courtney at The Mommy Matters) 

Why so green, then, you ask???

I envy the time to think about work without interruption. It's a 7-hour flight from here to San Diego. 7 hours is more work time than I had all week.

I envy the opportunity to meet in person the people who make blogging fun and rewarding. (Like our hostess for today's linkup, Shell at Things I Can't Say; Nichole at In these Small Moments and the hostess of tomorrow's festivities, the cool cat behind Mama Kat's Losin' It)

Exclusive private parties? Who cares.

I'd like to hear all these ladies' real voices, see their quirky and not-so-quirky mannerisms, listen to them laugh. Those are the currency of friendship in-real-life, and I'm feeling a little bit bankrupt right now.

Oh, and I'd like to ogle (maybe even covet) their shoes. I simply love shoes.

Alas, the timing didn't work. At all. This wasn't my year for BlogHer for lots of reasons. And jealousy isn't all bad. Envious emotions are signals that smart people can leverage to learn more about what they value and to make better (more satisfying) decisions. (Read more about that on my other blog, The Psychologist Next Door)

Next year, I'll be at BlogHer in NYC. I'll wear something green so you'll recognize me.

 

Image credit: GREEN SHOES by Antonsokolov

 

Six Word Mommy Memoir

 

 

Two tots bathe. 

 

One poops.    

 

Bleach.

 

 

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This post inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and tonight's after-dinner show at our house. Really. I couldn't make this stuff up.

Sunday Soapbox: 4 Rules for Field-Trip Chaperones

I try pretty hard to take a “you raise your kids, I’ll raise mine” approach to parenting. But today, I can’t help but ask other mothers to “mom up” already.

 

On Friday, Leading Family went to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden for the day. Leading Man thought (incorrectly) that most people would be working and we’d enjoy the fishy fun without the big crowds. Instead, we toured the aquarium with 80 bus loads of kids who visited the aquarium in an end-of-school field trip extravaganza.

 

Kids are kids, you know. They’re excited, they’re noisy. They climb on things they shouldn’t and they aren’t always tuned in to people around them. I get that.

 

What I can’t handle are the parents who accompany kids on their field trips but turn a blind eye to bad behavior or who set a poor example for their own kids and for mine.

 

A chaperone is “someone who accompanies and supervises a group, especially a group of young people, usually when in public places.” Not just accompanies, but supervises.

 

And so, in this edition of Sunday Soapbox, I offer four rules for field-trip chaperones.

 

1. Say “excuse me” as you lead a group of kids through a crowd of people. Especially when you are going the wrong way. I will still be annoyed, but I won’t hip check you with my diaper bag. Manners are good.

 

2. Listen politely to the guide, even if you aren’t that interested. Your kids are here to learn: this isn’t the time to gossip with other mothers, talk on your cell phone, or update your Facebook status. It is rude and sets a poor example.  If you doubt that, ask your child’s teacher whether she allows kids to gossip, use cell phones, or post to Facebook while she’s teaching. I didn't think so.

 

3. If you don’t know something, admit it. Don’t make up answers to kids’ questions when you could consult written information or ask a staff member for insight. Kids need to learn information-seeking skills, and this is your chance to model them. It takes all the strength I have not to burst out laughing when you shout (too loudly), “Look, a swordfish!” when this shark swims by.

4. Correct bad behavior. Supervise your kids so the aquarium staff member can stop yelling into her megaphone. Tell your kids to get down off an exhibit so I don’t have to do so. Trust me, I’ll be the first one to remind my son to use his indoor voice and to wait his turn at the viewing window.

 

Mom up and follow the rules, ladies. I promise to follow them too.

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What's got you up on your soapbox this week? Link up an opinionated post below and share your thoughts in the comments. Links are live all week.

 

 

Sunday Soapbox: Yes or No, Damnit

It's Sunday already and time for Sunday Soapbox. Just in time for the Ultimate Blog Party at 5MinutesforMom.com and the sending of Little Mama's first birthday party invitations, I bring you "Yes or No, Damnit." That's the modern American English translation of RSVP.

 

R.S.V.P. Four little letters.

 

Répondez, s'il vous plaît.

 

It's a simple request, really.

 

R.S.V.P. means please tell me whether you plan to come to the event I am lovingly and painstakingly planning. Or. Not.

 

Please tell me if you'll grace us with your sparkling social energy. Or tell me to go to hell. I don't really care what you tell me, I just want you to RESPOND, s'il vous plaît. I said "please." (That's the s'il vous plaît part...)

 

For the last two large social events I planned, I hand-addressed invitations. Call me old-fashioned, but I think hand-addressed invitations are classy. And thoughtful. Hand-addressed invitations say "I want you to join us." They say "I thought especially of you."

 

In the end, I can't help but shudder at the RSVP rate for these events. I'd say it's less than 20%. That is, fewer than 20% of people RESPOND to say Yes or No to a social invitation.  Mostly, if people don't respond, it means they aren't coming. But not always. It depends on the event.

 

Here's the problem. Without a response, I simply don't know how many chairs I need. How many party favors. How much beer. Whether I should bar-be-cue burgers and hot dogs or roast an entire pig with an apple in it's mouth. That's why I ask for an RSVP.

 

Given my tendency to overthink EVERYTHING, I've thought of several reasons for the low rate of return on requests.

 

1) No one speaks French. Except for when they're talking about food or sex, as in "I'll have the menage a trois a la mode, please."   

 

2) People are too information-saturated to respond to inquiries in a timely fashion. Invitations simply get lost in the shuffle. I probably have three of them on my desk right now. Under. the. clutter.

 

3) Commitment is scary. If you say "yes" to my invitation, you risk having to say "No" when the producers of So You Think You Can Dance (or sing, or cook, or fart the alphabet) contact you for a last-minute callback audition scheduled at the precise time of my daughter's party.

 

4) The social world is big and impersonal. What feels like rude interaction is really just isolated indifference. "Oh, a person sent this invitation?! To me?!" "I had no idea. I've been spoiled by constant and unwanted solicitations from spammers and telemarketers."

 

As I send out these invitations, I once again asked recipients to Répondez, s'il vous plaît. I considered replacing "RSVP" with a bold, American English "Yes or No, Damnit," but it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.

 

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Whether you're visiting from the Ultimate Blog Party or a regular follwer of Leading Mama, welcome. I hope you'll hop up on your soap box and share your opinion in the comments. Consider this a personal invitation from Leading Mama. No RSVP required.

 

 

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday: Breakfast in the Bathroom

 

 

Toilet paper: When yogurt and Ceerios just aren't enough!

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. Expect the best from yourself and from your children. They will internalize your standards, even if they groan about them and roll their eyes. A lot.

 

2. Splurge on together time. Money invested in vacations, theater tickets, and art supplies pays a much higher return than money invested in trendy clothing -- like leg warmers and parachute pants -- and electronic gadgetry. I had Pong. My son wants iPad 2. He's getting a Carribbean vacation instead.

 

3. Silly is good. And memorable. I still recall how my mom would "go green" for St. Patrick's Day dinner. Green salad. Green beans. Green rice. YES. I said green rice.

 

 

3a. Famous chefs who say "we eat with our eyes" are onto something. It is very hard to eat green rice. It feels a little like diving into a bowl of bugs. Thanks for that, mom.

 

3b. Little Man is at school in black pants and a tan shirt. His underwear are blue. But his dinner will be green. All green. Mua-ha-ha! 

 

4.  Your kids won't like all your choices. That's okay. They will deal with it.

 

5.  Diets fail at 4 o'clock. Even if you've eaten well all day to that point, the combination of low blood sugar and little kid craziness spells diet disaster. It's best to get out of the house. And don't go shopping. Just don't.

 

This post inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat, a recent interview with my mom, and St. Patrick's Day. 

Post-It Note Tuesday: Look Mom, No Panties

 

It's Post-It Note Tuesday. Have a superstickie day!

Hallmark Schmallmark

My dad once bought my stepmom a Ruger for her birthday.

 

That's right. A handgun.

 

As Little Man would say, "she not love it."

 

I recall she told him "That looks like something you'll really enjoy using."

 

Gift giving is an interesting thing. It sometimes reflects more on the giver than the receiver. And the intended message isn't always obvious to the recipient.

 

Yesterday, I told Little Man about Reid's struggle with lymphoma and how he is in the hospital and needs cheering up. When I asked if he wanted to make a card to send, he replied enthusiastically. He decided on orange paper.

 

And then he drew a plane crash. Actually, he drew two plane crashes, but I'll just share one.

 

 

If you want to see Little Man's description of the elements of this drawing, click here to download the annotated plane crash drawing (hint, hint, Grandma)

 

This is some of his best work to date -- it has people that are starting to look like people with round bodies and appendages! -- so it was hard to part with. But that's how I know this is a heartfelt gift.

 

And I know he'll draw more. Many, many more. Because right now, Little Man is all about plane crashes. It's who he is. And that's the best gift he could give.

 

Are you giving your best gifts today?

10 Must-Haves for Spring

I get a little needy when the weather changes. Something *new* would be nice.

 

A bright, striped top. A straw handbag with room for big sun glasses, a book (or two!), three juice boxes and a bag of cheerios. White capri pants. Well, white capri pants might be going one step too far, but you know what I mean.

 

Upon reflection, the must-have items below will bring Leading Mama maximum joy for no money at all. And (bonus!) they won't make my butt look big, like white capri pants would. 

 

1.       A keen eye to see the first daring purple crocus as it peeks out of hiding

 

2.     An encouraging voice to say “yes, you can jump in that puddle” and the forethought to bring a change of clothes and a towel

 

3.       A dedicated, dirt-lovin' garden helper to dig, plant, water and weed with me  

 

4.       A beautiful, tiny bowl for the stemless flowers said garden helper picks just for me

 

5.       A twelve-step program to treat workaholic perfectionists with comorbid blog addiction

 

6.       A drawer for my watch, so I won’t be tempted to cut playtime short and “get a little more work done”

 

7.      A giving spirit to clear-out clutter and donate it to the Thift Shop

 

8.      A sunny outlook to match the weather

 

9.     A permission slip from myself: “Heidi has my permission to go on Spring Break vacation in body, mind, and spirit”

 

10.    The courage to keep telling the truth and the faith that others crave smart, honest dialog, too

 

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
-Logan Pearsall Smith

 

Join me for Sunday Standpoint this week. The theme is "Every Mother is a Working Mother."

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