Leading Mama

Military Wife Life: Milspouse Friday Fill-In #46

It's been ages since I joined in on the Milspouse Friday Fill-In over at Wife of a Sailor. This week's questions are super interesting. Can't wait to read other milspouse's responses!

NOTE: I am on the lookout for milspouse-written blogs to feature in an upcoming issue of Military Spouse magazine. If you'd like to make sure I check out your blog in my search, leave a comment or email me. We're featuring blogs from all branches of service on a wide range of topics!

 

1. Are you a different person than you were five years ago? submitted by Sisterly Thoughts

The personality psychologist in me says, "No, I am the same person I always was." The traits that make me who I am haven't changed all that much:

• I am an information junkie. Love learning.
• I talk (almost) non-stop if I have someone to talk to. Sometimes I talk to myself, too.
• I love to cook and eat. Yesterday I made blueberry crisp with Little Man using berries we picked ourselves. Delish!
• I have more negative emotion than the average bear. I worry when I shouldn't. I get angry faster than I should. It's hard for me to let go when I get in a funk...my bad moods settle in like a stalled storm system, swirling around for hours.

But I'm different, too. My values have been re-tooled by marriage and motherhood. I don't expect perfection all the time. I'm more apt to reflect on why things happen and what they mean. Forgiveness comes easier than it used to.  

 

2. If you could go on Amazing Race, who would you take with you as your partner and why? submitted by Thoughts from a Poekitten

My sister, Jen, because I miss her. The Amazing Race would give us time to hang out. We wouldn't win, but we'd have tons of fun.  

 

3. Does Facebook or Twitter actually bring more stress or good in to your life? submitted by Just an Arizona Girl

Neither FB or Twitter cause me stress. I'd love to spend more time on both, but I recognize that other work is more important. Without FB, I wouldn't see my friends' kids grow up or learn about what's happening in their lives. I am terrible at keeping in touch. FB helps with that! Twitter is addictive and I try hard to keep it in check!  

 

4. June is National Soul Food Month- what's your soul food? submitted by NH Girl Displaced

Hmmm. Chocolate cake with espresso cream filling and chocolate ganache. And a glass of red wine.

Or thai chicken with basil.

Or aloo gobi (curried Indian cauliflower and potatoes).

Dang, now I am hungry.

 

5. If you could live in any other era than the current, which one would it be & why? submitted by Sugar in My Grits

I'd like to live in WWII America to experience the level of national camaraderie that generation experienced. Despite many challenges, the shared commitment to a cause must have been very powerful.

 

Military Wife Life: Milspouse Friday Fill-In #37

Sharing with fellow MilSpouse bloggers today. If you want to join in, answer the questions and link up with Wife of a Sailor.

 

Happy Friday, everyone!

1. With PCS moves happening every few years, do you take the time to paint and decorate your home? submitted by Life as Mrs. JPT

We have moved 5 times in 6 years. No, that is NOT a typo. 5 times. I decorated the first house a bit (but no painting...it was already painted). The next three we lived in without decorating. I did purchase new furniture, though. The one we're in now, we painted. Leading Man painted, actually. When he asked why we were doing so much painting I told him "I'm sick and tired of white. If $30 worth of paint brings me two years of pleasure, I say 'Let's do it.'" He agreed.

 

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? submitted by Standing By Him

I love this question...so creative! I would live in the Zeek and Camille Braverman's house from the show Parenthood. I love how warm, cozy and lived-in it feels. Our homes always feel only barely lived in. Maybe that's the 5 moves in 6 years! Camille's kitchen is the center of the home, and their outdoor environment is soothing, lush and inviting. Those outdoor lights over the long family dinner table in the yard make me swoon. That house is a HOME.

 

3. What inspired you to start your blog?  submitted by Pink Combat Boots

Writing coach and platform guru Christina Katz inspired me to start a blog. Her book Get Known Before The Book Dealis awesome. I also highly recommend Make a Name for Yourself by Robin Fisher Roffer. She's a branding and marketing expert.

 

4. What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen on base? submitted by Adventures in Life

Hmm. One of our neighbors down the street planted flower bulbs underneath all the grass in the front yard park strip. Hundreds of bulbs. Now there are tulips blooming all over in their grass. I try to look the other way, but it's kind of like a train wreck. You can't look away. It's bad.

 

5. Which historical figure (politician, writer, artist, scientist, actor, etc...) would you like to have dinner with?  submitted by Army of Two

Maxine Kumin, Pulitzer Prize winning poet. She's the author of many, many verses that speak to me on a wide range of subjects from relationships to the natural world. Love her poems on swimming and diving. The rhythm and movement of her work is breathtaking, and it grabs me by the throat when I read it.  My fave book is collected poems 1960-1990. I've nearly worn out a few library cards on that book.

 

Military Wife Life: Milspouse Friday Fill-In #35

Happy Friday, everyone! It's been a busy week here on Leading Mama (see posts on Infertile Secrets and a poem entitled Where the Light Is, inspired by Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are). We're back in the cold this week wishing that spring would SPRING already. And it's time for another MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. If you are a military spouse, you can link up at Wife of a Sailor!

 

1. What is your must have gadget? submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy

My laptop, obviously. But less obviously, my fave gadgets are the Keurig Milk Frother (which makes yummy, foamy goodness in 90 seconds) and the   Remington Travel Hot Rollers that I use every day (even when we aren't traveling) to do my hair in about 90 seconds. You probably notice a theme here. If they made a gadget that made TIME, I'd buy it!

 

2.  How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third

 

Honestly, I don't know how I expected it to be. I have a horrible memory for my childhood, which is disappointing. I guess it means I am not living in the past, so it isn't all bad.

 

3.  What is your favorite chocolate recipe?  submitted by Our First Deployment

Hmm. I have a lot of favorite chocolate recipes. But I will share with you the recipe our older kids call "Brownies from scratch." They are fabulous.

 

Double Chocolate Brownies from "The Hunk Cookbook" by Mary Ann Bauer (given to me by my college roommate, Wendy, in 1991)

Description: Sinfully delicious, incredibly chocolaty, unbelievably rich. Developed by Ellie and Dennis, owners of "Hot Pots" kitchen store. They have male customers who drive a little way for this little bit of sin.

1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup white sugar

2/3 cup shortening

3 1/2 cups chocolate chips (semi-sweet)

4 eggs

1/2 cups walnuts (optional)

1/4 cup hot water

 

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt, and vanilla. In a separate bowl, melt shortening in the microwave (2 mins should do it) and stir in 2 cups of the chocolate chips, reserving the rest for later. The chocolate chips need to melt into the shortening completely. Add 1/4 cup hot water to the melted chocolate and stir. Add the brown and white sugars to the choclate mixture and stir. Slightly beat 4 eggs and stir into to the cholate mixture. Last, add the dry ingredients and mix to blend well. (I do not use a mixer for this, just a big spoon.) Finally, add the remaining chocolate chips and nuts if desired. Spread in a 11 x 15 greased cake pan. Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes.

(Note: I use a 13 x 9 cake pan and bake these a little longer) These are truly killer brownies.

 

3.  How do you deal with military life when it gets to be to much or to hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes

 

Military life doesn't really get to me -- well, except for the ridiculous beauracracy and inability to PLAN MY LIFE -- that often. I try to enjoy the benefits, like seeing new places and meeting great people and to remember that the rough spots are temporary. Mostly, I roll with the punches. And I try not to complain. In my opinion, complaining just fans the flames of discontent.

 

5.  What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment?  submitted by The Albrecht Squad

 

Deployment can be long and lonely. Find a "project" to commit to that will keep you busy for the duration. That might be setting a new fitness goal (like running a half marathon) or losing weight. It might be taking a class at the local junior college or online (I took Indian cooking, which was interesting and yummy). Set a blog goal and join up with some people writing memes you wouldn't normally write, just to challenge yourself. I love Mama Kat's writer's workshop at Mama's Losin' It and Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday at Things I Can't Say and Alphabe-Thursday at Jenny Matlock. Jenny also does Saturday Centaus, which is a 100-word fiction writing prompt each week. Stretch yourself during deployment. You have more "me" time to enjoy!

 

Second piece of advice: take time to visit your family and friends. We don't get lots of opportunities to "go home" as military spouses. It's important to stay connected. Take an extended trip to visit your family if possible. You'll be glad you did.

Military Wife Life: MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #34

I can't believe it's Friday already. Before I get to the Friday fill-in, one announcement.

 

I am looking for military spouses who are interested in sharing their experiences with grief for an upcoming article in Military Spouse magazine. Specifically, I am addressing how it feels to be far away from family and friends when losses or other setbacks occur and what coping skills/tips/or resources spouses draw on in times of grief. Please email me if you are willing to share your experience or know of someone I should contact about this piece. It is an important (and timely) topic. Thanks!

 

1. What are some  of your ideas for staying connected with family...you know, those people we moved thousands of miles away from? submitted by Live it. Love it (or not). Write About It.

I don't do as good a job keeping in touch as I should...the time zone difference is part of the problem. I'd prefer to talk by phone, but timing doesn't work. Mostly we keep in touch with Facebook, my blog, and texting.

 

2.    What's the most romantic gift you have GIVEN? submitted by Painting My Canvas

A blank book that I use to write love letters and poems to my husband. I add to it over time. That reminds me, it's been awhile.

 

3.    Would you encourage your child, if they came to you and wanted to join the military?  submitted by Perfectly Imperfect

I will encourage them to pursue their interests/goals/dreams no matter what, even if it means they put themselves in harm's way. But I would worry. A lot.

 

4.  What is your least favorite bill to pay and why? submitted by A Little of This, A Little of That

I don't literally "pay" it because it is deducted automatically, but I hate that we spend $2700 a month on someone else's mortgage. We live in base housing. Very expensive base housing.

 

5.   What is the proudest moment you've had as a military spouse?  submitted by Our Okinawa Life

I am proud of Leading Man for so much that he's done in the military. I'm not sure I can pick a single proudest moment. When he asked me to send an English dictionary for a young Afghan boy he'd met in Kabul in 2005, I was very proud of him. It is gratifying to know he is touching individual people's lives, not just chugging away in a big blue bureacracy.

Military Wife Life: MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #33

Friday already? Whew!

Before I bring you another edition of military wife life, a couple of announcements:

 

First, I am looking for ideas to include in an article on PCS family traditions for Military Spouse magazine. If you and your hubby or kids have a fun family tradition to share, please email me or leave a comment. I want to know how you mark the occasion/transition.

 

Second, you're invited to join in Sunday Standpoint here on LeadingMama. Each week I pick a statement and I take a stand. Post your take on the same prompt, then link up here and join the conversation. This week's prompt is "Know Thyself." I'll forwarn you: I feel a soul-baring confession session coming on.

 

Without further ado, here's the Friday Fill-in!

1. During military separations (whether short or long) how do you keep yourself positive and motivated? submitted by Married/Single Parent

    I tend to get focused on new projects when Leading Man is deployed. Sewing projects, fitness goals, writing. My kids are always here to keep me positive, too. I feel a lot of pressure to be "enough" for them when their dad is away.

 

2.  What is your favorite concert you have ever been to? submitted by Young but Not (Completely) Dumb

    My son's spring concert at preschool. Can't beat a group of 2 year olds singing "I caught myself a baby bumblebee" while wearing antennae they made out of pipecleaners.

 

 

 

3.  What do you miss most about your "hometown"?  submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier

    My family. And really, really good Mexican food.

 

4.  If you could run in any race, which charity would you choose to support? submitted by Wookie & Co.

    Hmm. I've run in lots of races. Mud runs, triathelons, half-marathons, full marathons.  But I've never run for charity. For me, running is personal. It's a chance to get inside my own head for a while. See more reasons I run in this post-marathon blog post.

    Charities I support -- with money, not mileage -- include Freedom Service Dogs in Denver, CO and Project Peanut Butter.  FSD rescues and trains shelter dogs to assist handicapped individuals. PPB grows and distributes food to severly malnourished kids in sub-Saharan Africa. Both have low or no overhead spent on advertising.

 

5.  You find out Willy Wonka is your father, what 3 course meal do you INSIST he create in that stick of gum?  submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench

Oooh, such a fun question. I insist on a velvety Cabernet Sauvigon, tiramisu, and a latte. If it has three items, it's a three-course meal, right? No one expects my Wonkafied gum to have nutritional value, I hope!

 

Join the fill-in by following this link:



MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #32

It has been a tough week for the Air Force family. Losing wingmen in the war zone is a not-good fact of military life. Losing wingmen during operations on what seems like safe soil is unthinkable. My heart goes out to the families of the two Airmen shot and killed outside the Frankfurt airport in Germany.  This should not happen.

Join me on Sunday for this week's Sunday Standpoint. I will read and comment on all posts, and encourage you to comment away, too. The topic is "Every Mother is a Working Mother." Take a stand and link up.

 

And now for the MilSpouse Friday fill-in. Here's a little more about Leading Mama's military-wife life.

 

1.     Do you or your husband ever wish your husband was in a different branch of the military? submitted by The Turner Family

    I never wish Leading Man was in another branch of service. I like the Air Force. Leading Man has spent lots of time working for the Army in the last few years, and working for Marines in joint assignments (both at the Pentagon and in Afghanistan). He has great respect for the leadership style of many Army and Marine commanders. When he's really fed up with something at work, we joke about going blue to green. He's way too old to go blue to green now (24 years of service!), but it makes him smile to think about it!

 

2.     What duty station(s) are on your "No Way, Hell No, Not Going, Have Fun Unaccompanied" list and why? submitted by Every Branch

    I'd never say "no way, hell no, not going" but the deep south is not on my list of happy places. I'll go anywhere they send him, even if my hair is ruined by humidity, I can't stand sweet tea, and theyhave bugs the size of Chihuahuas running around. I would go. I would complain loudly. But I would go.

 

3.    If you could be one age forever, what age would you choose and why? submitted by Three Krakens

    Oooh, such a tough question. I'd say 35. Old

enough to know better and young enough to keep up with the kids.

 

4.     If you were a breakfast cereal, which one would you be? submitted by the C.W.

    Something sweet and nutty with an obnoxious crunch to it.

 

5.     What is your morning beverage of choice and why?  submitted by NH Girl Displaced

    Nonfat latte, double shot, no foam. WHY? Caffeine and calcium, silly. Two of my favorite substances. I like a good espresso buzz, and I'm trying to keep Little Mama from leaching all the calcium outta my bones with her 6-times-a-day breastmilk habit.

 

 

 

 

Military Wife Life: MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #30

Generally, my milspouse life is not front-and-center on this blog. I'm married to Leading Man, not to his career. But being a military spouse is the backdrop for my life, and so, so relevant to what I've learned about life, love, and family.

In the interest of sharing a bit more of my military wife life with you all, I'm doing this week's mispouse Friday fill-in. Without other wordiness, here are my answers!

 
What is your favorite MilSpouse blog? submitted by Our Crazy Life

Love, love, love the photos and layout at Household6Diva. Ann Marie's blog is scrumptious. After working on my own -- admittedly text-heavy -- blog, I like that I can "feel" my way through her blog visually. Gorgeous stuff. 

What are your favorite perks about your spouse being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife

Hmm. I wrote an article on this for the December 2009 issue of Military Spouse Magazine. (I am a regular contributor.)  There's also a discussion on the milspouse.com forums about the "up side to deployments" right now.

Personally, I would say the silver lining is being able to spend lots of time with my extended family. The Air Force has a policy that lets families move anywhere CONUS while a spouse is deployed if the deployment is 1 year or longer. Because of this policy, I had both my babies in my hometown. I was able to share them with their great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins for 19 months. That's something military families miss out on most of the time, and it's something I will always treasure.

(I know my milspouse friends in other branches don't get the same benefit, and I wish you all did. The AF has been planning to repeal this, too. I am not sure of the current status of the policy.)

How long did you date your husband before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic

About 2 1/2 years before we got married. There was no engagement, unless you consider planning the courthouse wedding via email during a deployment as an "engagement period." (wink, wink)

 

What do you think your husband would do if he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared

That's a really good -- and relevant -- question. Something busy and demanding. And hopefully something where he can make an impact.

Leading Man is an Air Force Academy grad with 24 years of service, so he has been "in" for 28 years! We're thinking about what he'll do after retirement now. It will be difficult for him to find a job that feels as meaningful as helping the Afghans rebuild their communities. My husband has done 3 deployments to Afghanistan in the last 6 years and his heart is still in Panjshir.

If you could talk to the Secretary of the Air Force what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families?  submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife

Military families struggle mightily with reintegration after deployment, but few seek help with the transition. I wish the services would normalize this experience for people so they don't feel so alone. Many people (civilian and miliary included) think welcoming a service member home should be happy, easy, fun. Like coming back from a vacation.

The reality is that lots of things change in the course of a year and re-making a family over and over and over takes a toll on everyone. The Air Force is fond of saying "flexibility is the key to airpower." In Leading Mama's opinion, a little stability never hurt, either.