Leading Mama

Six Word Mommy Memoir

 

 

Two tots bathe. 

 

One poops.    

 

Bleach.

 

 

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This post inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and tonight's after-dinner show at our house. Really. I couldn't make this stuff up.

Where the Light Is

The night I closed my eyes and found fault of one kind

And another

I called myself “WORTHLESS!”

And I said “I'LL SHRINK TO NOTHING!”

And exiled myself without looking back

 

 

That very night inside my mind walls closed

And closed-

And closed until the shadows filled with demons

And my thoughts became a prison all around

 

 

And a hall of mirrors beckoned me come

And I judged myself through night and day

And in and out of weeks

And almost over a year

Until I disappeared

 

 

And I dismembered my being with insults

I roared their partial truths and bludgeoned with angry sadness

And cut with accusations and smoldered in despair

Till I said “ENOUGH!”

And confronted them with the magic trick

Of staring into all that frightful hate with open eyes

And my anger quieted

And I called myself not just good but good enough

And I acknowledged I am worthy

 

 

“And now,” I cried, “things will be different!”

 

 

“BE GONE!” I said and sent the insults into exile

without looking back. Deafening quiet filled my mind

And I wanted to be where I could grow.

Then in a flash from far away beyond those walls

I saw a ray of light

So I gave up being guard of my own prison

 

 

But the insults cried, “You cannot soar—

We’ve torn you down – there’s nothing more!”

And I said “No!”

 

 

Insults roared their partial truths and bludgeoned with angry sadness

And cut with accusations and smoldered in despair

But I opened my heart and eyes and let in love

 

 

And traveled back over a year

And in and out of weeks

And through a day

And into the night of my very own mind

Where I found my self waiting for me

And I was still whole

 

 

This post inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat who said "April is national poetry month...Write a poem about hope" and by Where the Wild Things Are , written and illustrated by Maurice Sendak and read by Leading Mama every night in and out of weeks to Little Man, who loves it so.

Image Credit © Kacpura | Dreamstime.com