Leading Mama

Balance is Relative

Time management gurus would freak out if they saw how I operate. I don't collect empty pizza boxes or tchochkes, but I'm surrounded by so many to-dos and wanna-learns I could star in a special episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive. I'd call it "the overachiever edition." Maybe I should pitch this idea to Oprah.

 

Here's my dirty little secret to getting it all done.

 

I let creative impulses, have-to's, want-to's  and deadlines determine what I do and when I do it.

 

Leading Man calls it "just-in-time excellence."

 

If the ideas are swimming in my head, I capture them on paper. I save files and add details as they come to me. When article is due, I write it. If Little Man is out of socks (again!), I do laundry. If the baby has a hacking cough -- right now she sounds like a 2-pack-a-day smoker -- I take her to the clinic. If I feel like Thai Chicken with Basil for dinner, I get busy in the kitchen. If I don't want to cook, I defrost and reheat.

 

When someone offers snuggle time, I drop everything and I "nuggle." I *do* have priorities, you know.

 

The old schedule that housewives perfected over a hundred years and embroidered on millions of flour-sack dish towels just wouldn't fly around here.  

  

Monday: Wash Day
Tuesday: Ironing Day
Wednesday: Sewing Day
Thursday: Market Day
Friday: Cleaning Day
Saturday: Baking Day
Sunday: Day of Rest

 

Spreading tasks over time would certainly make my life more manageable. But it doesn't fit with my personality. I love the pressure of a deadline. The thrill of keeping too many balls in the air is something I miss if my to-do list grows shorter than my arm. I get itchy to take on new tasks.

 

But -- even if it looks like I am in way over my head most days -- I manage to maintain a sense of balance in the longer term.

 

Right now I am working hard. I am overcommitted. I am struggling to stop myself from taking on more. And I am loving every minute of it.

 

I'm also anticipating a delicious change of pace when we go on a two-week vacation this spring. (Where? Turks and Caicos, thank you very much for asking. Super scuba, gorgeous lush tropical happiness, sandcastle making and shell-collecting. Mmmm. I can almost feel the sun on my face.)

 

For Leading Mama, balance is relative.

I know I can have it all, just not all at the same time.

 

This post inspired by a prompt from

 

 

 

 

 

Military Wife Life: MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #30

Generally, my milspouse life is not front-and-center on this blog. I'm married to Leading Man, not to his career. But being a military spouse is the backdrop for my life, and so, so relevant to what I've learned about life, love, and family.

In the interest of sharing a bit more of my military wife life with you all, I'm doing this week's mispouse Friday fill-in. Without other wordiness, here are my answers!

 
What is your favorite MilSpouse blog? submitted by Our Crazy Life

Love, love, love the photos and layout at Household6Diva. Ann Marie's blog is scrumptious. After working on my own -- admittedly text-heavy -- blog, I like that I can "feel" my way through her blog visually. Gorgeous stuff. 

What are your favorite perks about your spouse being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife

Hmm. I wrote an article on this for the December 2009 issue of Military Spouse Magazine. (I am a regular contributor.)  There's also a discussion on the milspouse.com forums about the "up side to deployments" right now.

Personally, I would say the silver lining is being able to spend lots of time with my extended family. The Air Force has a policy that lets families move anywhere CONUS while a spouse is deployed if the deployment is 1 year or longer. Because of this policy, I had both my babies in my hometown. I was able to share them with their great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins for 19 months. That's something military families miss out on most of the time, and it's something I will always treasure.

(I know my milspouse friends in other branches don't get the same benefit, and I wish you all did. The AF has been planning to repeal this, too. I am not sure of the current status of the policy.)

How long did you date your husband before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic

About 2 1/2 years before we got married. There was no engagement, unless you consider planning the courthouse wedding via email during a deployment as an "engagement period." (wink, wink)

 

What do you think your husband would do if he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared

That's a really good -- and relevant -- question. Something busy and demanding. And hopefully something where he can make an impact.

Leading Man is an Air Force Academy grad with 24 years of service, so he has been "in" for 28 years! We're thinking about what he'll do after retirement now. It will be difficult for him to find a job that feels as meaningful as helping the Afghans rebuild their communities. My husband has done 3 deployments to Afghanistan in the last 6 years and his heart is still in Panjshir.

If you could talk to the Secretary of the Air Force what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families?  submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife

Military families struggle mightily with reintegration after deployment, but few seek help with the transition. I wish the services would normalize this experience for people so they don't feel so alone. Many people (civilian and miliary included) think welcoming a service member home should be happy, easy, fun. Like coming back from a vacation.

The reality is that lots of things change in the course of a year and re-making a family over and over and over takes a toll on everyone. The Air Force is fond of saying "flexibility is the key to airpower." In Leading Mama's opinion, a little stability never hurt, either.